I’m starting this post with a back cover blurb from one of my previous published novels – Deadly Legacy! A snippet from the text is below.
An ex MI6 officer is assassinated, the widow asks questions and his colleagues close ranks, but a living nightmare is about to begin for Cassie Douglas and that of her children. Although struggling to regain sense of normality in her every day life, she cannot and will not give up on discovery of why her husband died a macabre death.
Meanwhile, unbeknown to Cassie, her son’s obsession with computers inadvertently unleashes real-time covert dogs of war, and two CIA agents depart Langley in the US, heading for London. Meanwhile, a man called McKinley has already landed at Heathrow, London, and standing on her doorstep. Although a one-time close friend of her late husband, can she trust this man and finally unravel truth from lies or is he the enemy?
1) The blurb shows us that Cassie’s husband has been assassinated, but how?
2) We know a living nightmare is about to close around her and her children, and they’re obviously under some kind of threat: but what and whom is the threat?
3) McKinley features big, he has a name already, but who is he?
We all know the blurb is intended to incite initial interest, and in this case, unanswered questions will hopefully lure a reader of romantic suspense/thrillers to pick up said book and read the first few pages.
The following snippet is taken from page 7 - first chapter, where Jamie has to use Cassie’s car because his was involved in a traffic accident the day before:
Cassie heard the purr of the car’s engine, and guessed Jamie was readjusting the seat, the vehicle still where she’d parked it. She stepped forward in readiness to descend the steps to the pavement below, a girlish flush rising to her cheeks at his remembered words in the hallway.
A second chance at happiness was better than divorce, surely, even if from time to time he still disappeared at a minutes notice . . .
After all, he had sworn – only yesterday – that divorce would never keep them apart for long, even if she filed for one. And if she ran away it would be as good as shooting him in the head.
Terribly dramatic, utter blackmail too, but highly effective when applied with: ‘What more can I say to convince you that I love you, always have, and always will, Mrs. Douglas’.
She once more glanced toward her car. Jamie had reversed it a little and the vehicle now moving out from between parked cars.
The unthinkable happened.
An explosive blast rocked the crescent.
The car doors were blown outward and the vehicle rose into the air.
Shock waves slammed into parked cars and nearby houses; window frames splintered and hail of glass rained down all around.
Engulfed in a ball of flames the vehicle fell to earth a mangled heap of metal.
‘No, No,’ she screamed.
Hell had just risen before her eyes and nothing remotely human able to survive the macabre scene before her, yet here she was alive, virtually untouched by the blast.
From the moment their eyes met in that brief exchange prior to the explosion she’d made the decision to tell him the answer to his question immediately upon his return. Her preferred terms would have been strongly disputed but adhered to all the same, because no matter how much water had flowed under shaky bridges neither had burned any.
He’d said the night before: ‘The last thing I want is for either to give up on the other’.
Not once had he used the children as a weapon in his defence to remain head of the household. He’d also striven to regain her trust, his case put forth, and her decision had remained in the balance. She’d done that partly as punishment for the heartache and tears and long nights spent with only the children for company, and for all the times she’d been left pondering the dangers he must have been facing in far distant places.
Immobilised, numbed, fingers toying with Jamie’s wallet, she voiced, ‘I’ll always love you, and you did guess right.’
As faces appeared at shattered windows and people spilled onto the street, a black pall of smoke billowed ever upward. Every movement around seemed to slide into slow motion; nausea and faintness washed over her.
In the far distance wailing sirens audible . . .
Moments later with blood trickling and tears cascading like red rain down her face she glanced to her left. Several fire officers dashed past her; and she noted a paramedic and a policewoman walking toward her. No hope.
Why, why did he have to die like this?
I’m hoping to get this re-published, so any feedback, feel free.
I think killing off secondary characters can work very well, providing how the death happens smacks of reality to story in hand and doesn’t feel as though slotted in just for shock factor impact.
O.K., so I killed off Jamie within first chapter, and I know it shocked readers. But, although Jamie’s dead he remains a prime character throughout the novel, simply because the title says it all. He leaves a Deadly Legacy.
In another romantic suspense, Deadly Waters, I have Debbie, whose fiancé died in a car crash before the novel gets underway, and while finding it hard to let go she feels his presence all around her. But it’s not a ghost story. Yet, she’s lured in to doing the things he’d intended doing, and she purchases a 60’ ocean going yacht with the proceeds from his life insurance payout. In doing so it gets her into deep waters in more ways than one, and without telling you any more she’ll discover the truth behind her fiance’s death, and she finds love en route.
So, are you thinking of killing a secondary character, or have you done so already?