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Jennifer is discovering what it takes to critique, and be critiqued...
Being part of a critique group is not for the faint of
heart. Or, to put it in a positive light, being part of a critique group helps
you develop very thick skin.
My experiences with critique partners have been in a
one-on-one setting, and usually separated by distance, interacting mostly via
computer. When one person hates your writing, you can blush, cry and rage in
private, then put on a brave face, make their suggested changes (or not), and
respond to their issues. Even if you’re meeting with them in person, it’s only
one person that you’re dealing with, so it’s manageable.
But a critique group often makes me feel as if I’m getting
up in front of a firing squad. Don’t get me wrong, the ladies are very kind.
They are encouraging. They even start with everything they like about my
writing. But at some point, they have to get to the negatives. Honestly,
there’s no point in being part of a critique group if they’re not going to
point out the negatives (even if my ego would prefer that to be the case).
And they’re usually right. I may not agree with everything
they say, but I can usually see the wisdom in a lot of it.
But I had two recent experiences with them that made me
shake my head and caused me to give myself a pep talk. The first was our last
critique group meeting. Usually, at least two of the three other women agree in
their assessments of my writing (and everyone else’s, for that matter). I go
with my gut, but I listen extra carefully when there’s a majority about
anything. This time, though, no one was in agreement on anything. What one
liked, the others didn’t and vice versa. At the end of each person’s critique
of my WIP, they looked at each other and then at me and said, “This time, you
need to go with your gut.”
Or as I like to say, stand at the top of the stairs, throw
all the pages down them, and do what the face-up pages say. It was hard,
because I had to set aside my ego and decide which suggestions to follow,
making sure not to only follow the good comments (in theory, that would be one way
of absorbing the changes, but it wouldn’t make for a very good story). I also
had to trust myself, never an easy thing for me. But I used discipline and made
the changes I thought made sense, took a deep breath, and ignored everything
else. Hopefully, my decisions were wise.
The second experience was also with one of these critique
partners in the group. She’s in the process of rereleasing one of her older
books and has a new cover design. She sent it to us to look at and said there
was something that bothered her but she wanted to see if we noticed it. Well, I
looked at the cover and I saw something that bothered me right away. Except,
since she didn’t specify what bothered her, I wasn’t sure if I was pointing out
something she hadn’t noticed, or really liked or if I was creating more problems
than I was solving. My brain started spinning through all different scenarios
and consequences until finally I yelled at myself.
There comes a time where you have to just say what you feel.
If someone is asking you, they have to understand that they might not like what
you’re going to tell them. And they’re going to have to deal with it. It’s how
we develop that thick skin.
So I pointed out my issue, and it coincided with hers.
Some skin thickening, not much skin piercing, and hopefully,
some better writing along the way!
