O is for Oxymorons

We're delighted to welcome guest Joanne Guidoccio back to Heroines with Hearts!

I collect oxymorons—or to be more technically correct, oxymora—and like to pepper my conversations with same difference, random order, and open secret. When I use less common oxymora such as planned spontaneity, controlled chaos, clean dirt, and pontificatory salvos, I enjoy watching the puzzled expressions on the faces of listeners who wonder whether they should laugh or not.



But I was taken aback by the yoga oxymoron that appeared in the pages of my cozy mystery, A Season for Killing Blondes.

While creating a character sketch of protagonist Gilda Greco, I decided to include her interest in yoga. I had originally intended for yoga instructor Jean Taylor to be a minor character, but she decided to misbehave, and in doing so, found herself embroiled in a murder investigation.

In the early chapters, we hear only positive comments about the calm and thoughtful yoga instructor who lights candles and radiates kindness and goodness. She takes an active interest in the lives of her students and goes out of her way to make them feel welcome and at ease in her classes. Able to effectively lead classes of five or thirty, Jean supports a spontaneous, intuitive style of teaching. Quietly, she works the room, letting each of her students know she is watching and paying attention to their moves while stopping to give a gentle nudge, a firm adjustment, or a high-five.

And she thinks nothing of extending that positive energy beyond the walls of her yoga studio.

Weeks before the opening of Gilda’s ReCareering office, Jean researched and ordered a River Rock Lucky Bamboo plant. Unable to restrain herself, Jean gushed to everyone about the three symbols—wealth, happiness, longevity—inherent in each plant.

Without giving too much away, I’ll say that Jean experienced an abrupt change of plans when she decided to personally deliver the plant on the eve of Gilda’s Open House. Thrown off kilter, she retreats to her aunt’s cottage and resurfaces several days later in an altered state.

Short excerpt...

“Stay out of my life, bitch!” A blast of cool air accompanied a loud, vaguely familiar voice. Jean Taylor stood in the doorway, clutching a pair of scissors in her hands. The normally well-groomed yogini wore baggy gray sweats. Her blonde hair hung in disarray and looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. Jean’s angry eyes surveyed the room, and then she walked briskly toward the bamboo plant. She savagely cut the stalks and threw them on the floor. “May you have decades of bad luck.” She slammed the door and ran out.

A yoga instructor with anger management issues – Could she have murdered four blondes?

Amazon: http://is.gd/jADjPp
Website: http://joanneguidoccio.com/

I certainly love cozies and can't wait to read this one. Thanks for guesting with us again, Joanne. It's always so nice to 'see' you here! :)

G IS FOR GILDA GRECO (AND ME)

Please welcome guest blogger Joanne Guidoccio.

Joanne, we're so glad you could join us again. We are so tickled you wanted to 'play along' with our A - Z challenge.

While imagining the protagonist of

A Season for Killing Blondes, I

realized she could easily be my

literary twin. In fact, I like to tell

people that Gilda Greco is 70

percent of me. As to how I came

up with that particular number,

let’s just say my well-honed left

brain did all the work.


Some similarities...

1. Born and raised in Sudbury, Ontario, Gilda and I lived in Gatchell, the Italian section of town.

2. We love to read and could spend hours curled up with our favorite books.

3. In school, we were high-achieving, happy nerds who majored in mathematics and then decided to pursue teaching careers.

4. In spite of our mathematical knowledge of probability, we buy lottery tickets. Gilda hit the jackpot and won $19 million in Lotto 649. As for me, I’m still buying tickets and hoping! BTW...the probability of winning Lotto 649 is 1 in 13,983,816.

5. We spent the early years of our teaching careers in Sudbury.

6. We relocated to Southern Ontario and ended up teaching in Guelph.

7. We completed the Career Development Practitioner program at Conestoga College. I had hoped to pursue a second career as a career counselor but personal and health circumstances intervened. Instead, I am living vicariously through Gilda who has set up her own ReCareering office in Sudbury.

8. We love our zebra colors. Black pantsuits are staples in our wardrobes.

9. We are non-foodies. That’s right, we don’t like to cook or bake. But we have a great appreciation for all foodies who possess that special gift.

10. We love cheesecake. And one of our favorites is Blueberry Delight, an easy-to-prepare recipe that actually calls for frozen blueberries. We invite all non-foodies (and foodies) to try our recipe.

Blueberry Delight

Ingredients:

½ cup brown sugar
2 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs
¾ cup butter
8 ounces cream cheese (at room temperature)
32 ounces sweetened whipped cream
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 ½ cups frozen blueberries

Procedure:

Combine brown sugar, graham cracker crumbs, and butter.
Press into the bottom of a 9” x 13” rectangular pan.
Bake for ten minutes at 325o F.
Cool the crust.
Cream together the cream cheese, sugar, vanilla and lemon juice.
Add whipped cream and fold in blueberries using a wooden spoon.
Pour mixture into the pan.
Refrigerate for 24 hours.

Servings: 15

Note: Seven more easy-to-prepare desserts are featured in A Season for Killing Blondes.

Amazon: http://is.gd/jADjPp
Website: http://joanneguidoccio.com/

A lucky commenter will receive a free eBook of A Season for Killing Blondes.

Joanne, thanks so much for guesting with us again! You are welcome back anytime...