Welcome guest author Rebecca Syme!

Rebecca Syme muses on Four Reasons Not to Make Resolutions in 2014 

When that big sparkly ball came down at midnight on December 31^st, many of us were already looking ahead to 2014. Sitting down to evaluate the last year is such a common activity these days, you’d think it happened every year.

Oh wait. It does.

There’s an episode of the Canadian sitcom Corner Gas where a group of friends all made resolutions together and are racing each other to see who can “win” at resolutions and then who will give up first. You get the idea that they do this every year, from their conversations, but it evinced the absolute truth about New Year’s resolutions, and why it’s just not a good idea to make them.

4. New Year’s Resolutions are a fad. The definition of a fad is something that receives attention for a short period of time and then drops out of consideration. This means that there is an immense amount of pressure to make resolutions for a short period of time, but then no attention paid to them after about January 3^rd. That means you get no support from the general public community. There aren’t going to be articles in your favorite magazines about your New Year’s resolutions in, say, April, when you’re more likely to need them.

Why is this dangerous? Because when you make a life change,  you need support. Fads, by nature, are fleeting, and don’t long themselves to long-term support.

3. New Year’s Resolutions are often vague. I resolve to lose weight. Great. How much? Over how long? Why? I resolve to be nicer. Great. What does “nicer” look like? Why might you be less nice? How nice is nice enough? I resolve to stop smoking. Great. You’re gonna quit cold turkey? Do you have support in this? What happens if you start smoking again?

Why is this dangerous? Because goals that lack specificity are hard to keep. Goals should be SMART. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Otherwise, you’re not going to be able to keep them.

2. New Year’s Resolutions are often extreme. People who have never gone to the gym start going every day in January. People who have smoked a pack a day their whole life stop smoking January 1^st. People who have lived with grief for years suddenly start dating. People who have a sugar addiction stop eating candy completely. There’s this sense of white-knuckling with resolutions. Try to do something extreme until you can’t not do it.

Why is this dangerous? Because extreme behavior is very difficult to maintain. In fact, it’s sort of set up not to be maintained. Extreme sports, for instance, are short and intense. Like sprints. Changing your life is a marathon. Not an extreme sport.

1. New Year’s Resolutions will come back again next year. Like my friends on Corner Gas, most people know that they’re going to make another resolution next January. Their life is set up to disappoint them. They’ve made resolutions before and either kept them for awhile or not kept them at all. But come the following January, they have to make another one.

Why is this dangerous? Because the more comfortable you are in disappointing yourself, the more you’re going to give in when that donut just looks too good or you want to sleep in instead of going to the gym.

Statistically speaking, only 8% of us are going to achieve our resolution goals this year. Instead of the other 92% getting that much closer to chronic disappointment, why not just forego the resolution-making? Instead, this year, love your life. And in April or June, when you have some time, sit down and do a self-evaluation. Set some SMART goals, if you want. Above all, set yourself up to succeed. Find a community, set realistic goals, get support, and change your life. Don’t set resolutions. Be the person you want to be all year long, and forever.

What do you think? Do you like resolutions? Have you ever kept a resolution?

You can purchase R.L. Syme’s recent historical release, The Outcast Highlander today from major retailers. Find her online at http://rlsyme.com or learn more about the book at http://theoutcasthighlander.com.

He's lost his family, his title, and his honor, but he can't lose her...

The first in a new Scottish Medieval Historical Romance series, the Highland Renegades, from award-winning author R.L. Syme.

Kensey MacLeod returns home after a failed marriage alliance in France to find her world in turmoil: her best friend married to an English sympathizer, her mother at death's door, and her father imprisoned and thought dead. As an English lord descends to claim her father's lands, Kensey escapes north with her mother and brother, and runs straight into the arms of the outcast Highlander.

Driven from home and family by a crazed father, Broccin Sinclair refuses to stand aside while the English invade his beloved Scotland. But who should he champion? The freedom fighter who saved his life, the family who has forgotten him, or the woman who captured his childhood heart?

A Must Read

Debra gushes about the latest book in one of her favorite series.

We all have them. Those go-to authors and books that no matter what we buy as soon as they hit the shelves. I go so far as to write release dates in my planner so I don't miss the day. And with pre-ordering available, sometimes they get shipped to my door the day of and I don't even need to leave the comfort of my own house.

I read one of those this past week.

Last year around this time I did a post about fellow C-N author Julie Ann Walker who had debuted a new series earlier that year. The first three books had been in my TBR pile forever, and over Christmas break I finally got around to reading them. And I was hooked. Couldn't put them down. Read the first two back to back in one day and finished the third a few days later. Since then two more books have joined the series.

The fourth came out in Spring and the fifth last month. Now, you'd think that since I immediately purchased them that I would have read them right away. But that would have ruined it a bit. These books are like fine chocolates that need to be savored. The pleasure needs to be drawn out. Because if you dive into them too quickly, all of that anticipation comes to a screeching halt and you're left to wait months and months for the next release. So I tease myself by having the books in my house, but I save reading them for 'special' occasions. And these books aren't ones to carry over to another sitting. When I read, I make sure my schedule is clear for the day so I can go all the way from beginning to end.

The fourth book in the series, Thrill Ride, I saved for my first-read-of-the-summer. You know, that first book you read when you know you have nine weeks of vacation stretching before you and you can sit down on the front porch with a tall glass of lemonade and read to your heart's content. No getting up early. No lesson plans to do. No papers to grade. Just the joy of a good book and the promise of sunny days to come.

The fifth book, Born Wild, arrived on my doorstep back in December. I set it on my dresser. And let it sit. I saw it every day. But I didn't pick it up to read. The tantalizing temptation of knowing what was coming was kind of thrilling. But I was immersed in Christmas stories, getting ready for the holidays, and once they passed, working on edits and revisions on my own mss. I had promised myself I'd give myself a reward when I submitted it to my editor...what better reward than to sit down and read one of my favorite authors?

But the timing just wasn't right. Like I said, when I dive in, I have no plans for coming up for air until I get to 'the end'. My hubby was home with me for Christmas break, so I didn't want to cocoon myself upstairs alone when I could be spending time with him. He made tentative plans to be gone this coming Saturday, so I made tentative plans to sit down with my book. Then luck and fate smiled upon me. We were supposed to go back to school on Monday, but because of the bitter cold temps here in the Midwest (Wind chills were 40 to 50 degrees below zero!), it was deemed unsafe for children to be out. Thus, we were given two more days off. My hubby had already made plans to go back to work on Tuesday, so as I had the house to myself on Tuesday, I curled up on the couch and read.

Ah, it was blissful. Wonderful. Trilling. Exciting. Wild. Sexy. Everything I'd hoped it would be.

But of course by midafternoon I was finished. The story was over. The book had to be closed. And just like that I was back to waiting. I immediately checked the author's web-site and found to my delight the sixth book will debut in May and the seventh in December. Happy happy joy joy. So even though I'm waiting again, that anticipation is already there, and I know there will be plenty of things between now and May to distract me from obsessing too much. And, if I get too big of a craving, I have five books on my shelf just calling to me to be reread.

Until next time,

Happy Reading!

Debra
www.debrastjohnromance.com

Why I spend time on Facebook

Paula explains why she enjoys spending time on Facebook.

I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Not touting my novels all the time, I hasten to add, although I may post a link occasionally, especially when I can show a ‘connection’ to something topical. St. Andrew’s Day was a good time to post a link to ‘His Leading Lady’ because of the musical based on a Scottish legend that featured in the novel. A report about possible new discoveries in the Valley of the Kings in Egypt was a perfect opportunity to deny any psychic ability on my part, but to highlight my archaeologist’s discovery in the valley in ‘Her Only Option’. Maybe now I need a volcanic eruption to promote ‘Changing the Future’ – and, of course, St Patrick’s Day will be a good time to advertise my new novel, ‘Irish Inheritance.’

 

However, I don’t consider Facebook simply as a platform for promoting my novels (or my blogs either), even though I have seen others use it solely for that purpose. After all, it is a social network, not a marketing or promotion network (which, sadly, so many yahoo loops have now become).

 

Facebook, for me, is the means to get to know people, and I enjoy the interaction with the many friends I have made there.

 

Does it lead to more book sales? Maybe a few, but probably not many (as my sales figures show!). It may mean ‘my name’ is becoming known, since I often comment on others’ posts, share links or fun items that have interested or amused me, add my own status posts that may or may not be connected with writing, and generally ‘network’ with other people.

 

Not with a ‘chosen few’ either – which I have seen happen with some ‘cliques’ on Facebook and Twitter, whose members only seem to comment on or share each others’ posts (or advertise their books), and ignore everyone else because they are not part of the ‘in’ crowd!

 

I’m happy to cast my net much wider than they do, and I enjoy the many and varied links I have made with so many people on FB. So much so that I now consider this to be far more important than selling books or making my name known.

 

Recently, I have met several Facebook friends in ‘real life’ and, without exception, have felt that they were already ‘old friends’ even though we were meeting face-to-face for the first time. Two or more hours of non-stop chat (about anything and everything, not just about writing) is evidence enough of how online friendships can become real life friendships.

 

The value of Facebook was brought home to me last week, when I didn't see or speak to anyone in 'real life' for six days. This invariably happens during a holiday period. I live alone, my family were doing 'their own thing', and my friends were all involved with their own families etc. It wasn't until the sixth day, however, that I actually realised I hadn't actually seen or spoken to anyone. Why? Because I had been 'chatting' to my friends on Facebook, having a laugh with them, and thoroughly enjoying the social aspect of networking. 

 

So thank you, Facebook!

The Personal Challenges of Being A Writer

Jennifer has some adjusting to do…still.

I’m a writer. Apparently, part of being a writer is learning to swallow your pride and embarrassment, or at least, it is for me.

I volunteer on my Temple’s executive board, which means I help set the direction we go, strategize, oversee committees and hire and fire clergy. It’s serious, it can be more time-consuming than a regular paying job and it’s stressful.

Last night, we had an important board meeting. My entire focus was on this meeting, the potential outcome, fallout, reaction, etc. Imagine my surprise when my friend and fellow board member held up one of my books, and another board member started commenting about it to me from across the room. I was more than a little embarrassed.

My Rabbi, who happens to be a good friend of mine, and knows all about my writing, although thankfully does not read my books, made a joke and asked me how many shades of red I was turning. As he was sitting next to me, he could see that I was turning approximately 15 shades of red. I called across the table to please discuss the book with me after the meeting.

I should have had a better response. I probably could have managed one if I were more prepared. But we were already starting the meeting late and it had the potential to run late into the night with lots of debate. The very last thing I was thinking about was my writing—although earlier in the day, I did contemplate bringing my computer to get in some editing (there tends to be some wasted time with chitchat, etc.).

Part of the problem is that it’s sometimes hard to be taken seriously, and being known as a romance writer doesn’t help that. And part of the problem is that I’m always embarrassed when attention is drawn to me.

I don’t mind being identified as a writer. In fact, it’s my abilities as a writer that lead the rest of the board to look to me to draft letters to the congregation, rewrite forms or manuals to better reflect our philosophy, etc. And it’s a skill of which I’m proud.

Now I just need to learn to handle it on the fly better!

Where do characters feel their emotions?

Ana finds a body-emotion chart.

This is an interesting chart from a European scientific journal.  Using this data, anger appears most active in the head and shoulders. Depression makes the limbs lethargic.

Anxiety would be centered in the gut, heart, torso area. Disgust turns your stomach. Sadness immobilizes and pains the heart. Contempt is mostly cerebral. Surprise engages faculties and stimulates the chest.

Love stimulates face (can't stop smiling), chest (makes you want to sing), and groin (sex, anyone?).

Happiness makes you snuggly warm all over.

Looking Back at a Resolution/Goal

Debra reviews a goal she set back in November.

Back in November I posted about a resolution/goal I wanted to accomplish with my writing. The excerpt from the post is this:

So, my resolution/goal is to do a read-through to refamiliarize myself with the intricate ins and outs of the story, add to the word count, polish up the mss again, and submit it to my editor at TWRP right after the first of the year. The Press closes for a couple of weeks over the holidays, so I figured that was a good time frame. It also gives me time over the upcoming holidays when I'm off for two weeks to actually spend time with it.

Now it's a little over a month later and two days into the new year, and I am happy to report I am actually making very good progress on my goal!

I printed out the mss and did a read-through to refamiliarize myself with the story. Check.

I've done some polishing and editing. Check.

And I've added about 2500 words to the story, which means I'm about halfway to the 5000 I need to add. So, half a check.

All in all, I am feeling pretty positive about the progress I'm making. It's nice to be in a writing groove again.

Things left to do are:

Bring the word count to the 65,000 required for print at TWRP.

Finish edits and polishing.

Submit to my editor when the Press reopens next week.

Then I'm hoping that even though it's a busy time of year for me in my 'real' life, now that I'm in a groove again, my muse will continue to speak to me and I can make some headway on my WIP "One Great Night".

I wrote down from somewhere the acronym SMART. As in you need to be SMART when making goals. They need to be:

S - specific
M - measurable
A - action-oriented
R - realistic
T - timed

With my first set, I think I've met all of the SMART requirements. For right now, the work on the WIP is a bit more open ended, but worth putting out there in a motivation sense. Hopefully I can tighten up that goal and apply the SMART tactic to it as well.

How about you? Any writing goals for 2014? And do you have a system you follow for making your goals and checking them off when you're done?

Until next time,

Happy Reading and Happy New Year!

Debra
www.debrastjohnromance.com

Looking Back and Looking Forward

The New Year is traditionally the time for looking back at the old year and looking forward to the new year, hence the two faces of the god Janus.

 

My romance writer friend Celia Yeary gave me the idea for this blog when she wrote a blog post about what she had learned in 2013. That got me thinking. My first thoughts centred around what I had learned I could not do.

 

One thing in particular jumped out at me. When I was in Croatia in June, I realised my mobility problems (due to arthritis) made it impossible for me to take part in any more ‘organised’ tours, as I could no longer keep up with group visits because I now walk much slower than most people – and too much walking becomes very painful. Coping with huge hotels like the one we stayed at near Dubrovnik, when it took me about 15 minutes to walk along rambling corridors from our room to the reception area, was not my idea of fun either!

 

I also learned that my capacity to understand today’s technology is limited – to say the least! My mind can understand some things but draws a complete blank at others. That’s the reason I won’t self-publish, and also the reason why I am so glad I have a publisher who looks after all that ‘technical’ side of publishing for me. I’ve heard too many frustrated stories from self-publishers about formatting and other problems that I know I would probably throw the computer out of the window if I attempted it myself!

 

Accepting what you can no longer do may be a sign of getting older. Not necessarily one you embrace with open arms but nevertheless one you have to accept. I could wish I was able-bodied and not disabled; I could wish my mind could wrap itself around modern technology, but I accept and adjust accordingly.

 

On the plus side of looking back, I had a new novel published last February. I’ve met up again (after many years) with two teenage friends. I’ve also made many new friends (mainly through Facebook) and have met several of them. I also had the best birthday weekend (for my ‘big’ birthday) that I’ve had for a long time!

 

So what about looking forward? My next novel will come out in February, and I'm looking forward to my visit to America and Canada in June. Of course, I could wish one of my novels would hit the NY Times best seller list, or a #1 spot on Amazon, but I'm not holding my breath! None of us knows what 2014 will bring to us or to our family and friends. Maybe the only thing we can wish is that it will be happy, healthy, and fulfilling – which is what I wish for you all.

 

Thank you for being my friends - and Happy New Year!