I’ve been totally unmotivated lately when it comes to
writing. Just the thought of sitting down at my computer to write is unpleasant
enough for me to find any number of other things to do—even laundry! I’m
uninspired and discouraged.
One reason I think is that I submitted to an editor who was
offering to provide feedback with rejections, as a “one time only” kind of
deal. So I sent her my manuscript. I knew it wasn’t ready; I knew it would be a
no. That’s why I sent it to her in the first place—for the feedback! But when I
actually got the rejection and the feedback, I was discouraged. I shouldn’t
have been, but I haven’t submitted anything for awhile and I forgot to steel
myself beforehand.
Another reason was the storm and the mental stress. We
suffered no damage and lost no power, but our town did and all the surrounding
towns as well. The kids missed a week of school and we housed friends and
family, as well as provided daytime refuge. My house was chock full of people
and it was exhausting. I’d fall into bed each night and try as hard as I could,
but the ideas that usually fill my head right before I fall asleep didn’t come.
It was a blank. And when I slept, I dreamt of fires and other disasters.
But there has been some good that’s come from all of this.
Now that life has calmed down, I feel rejuvenated and excited to start writing
again. The thought of sitting in my house, alone (finally!), and being able to
write is something that I’m looking forward to now. I’m even contemplating
going to the library to do some research (my least favorite thing to do).
And I’m finally looking at the feedback as I had originally
intended: an opportunity to improve what I knew deep down really did need
improving. And honestly, there was also positive feedback that I’m going to pay
more attention to now, rather than ignoring it and only focusing on the bad.
The inspiration is coming back and I’m motivated once again!
I'm not surprised you feel unmotivated following your storm and the aftermath - you have had enough on your mind!
ReplyDeleteThe rejection can't have helped but glad you are now feeling more positive about it.
I know exactly how you feel, Jen. Contest judges comments slayed me a year ago, and I've wrestled with their opinions ever since. Taking more classes, critiquing more fellow crit loop members' work, reading more...I have a better handle on that I need to do to polish Angel. It is hard to be so down with something that can make me feel so good.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ana and Paula. For some reason, contest critiques don't bother me as much, maybe because I've been told so often that the quality of the judges is not always consistent. Anyway, I'm turning over a new leaf! And oooh, I got spammed. It's my first time. I'm honored! ;)
ReplyDeleteBlogger usually catches the 'Anonymous' comments and put them into spam. There's been a huge increase in these recently, and I keep deleting them from the spam box. If they start appearing on the main page, we'll have to think about reinstalling the captcha again, although I don't want to because a lot of people don't bother leaving comments if they have to to decipher a captcha.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you're getting back in the swing of things with writing. Good luck!
ReplyDelete