Sunday, March 31, 2013

Linda Howard's 12 Steps to Physical Intimacy

Linda Howard identified the steps that a man and a woman follow when checking out each other’s level of attraction/sexual interest. In modern society, the woman “decides” when she is ready to move to the next level, but in a romance, it is often the man who asserts.
1) eye to body
2) eye to eye

3) voice to voice

4) hand to hand

5) arm to shoulder

6) arm to waist

7) mouth to mouth

8) hand to head

9) hand to body

10) mouth to breast

11) hand to genitals

12) genitals to genitals or mouth to genitals.


  1. Had to adjust the formatting for this one, Ana, as it had a lot of html language showing!
    I've seen this list before and it's a good 'rule of thumb' to use, although I'd reverse #1 and #2. Yes, women can look at a man's body and think 'phwoar!' but I tend to think that, for women, eye contact is maybe the first real contact between them. For men it may be body first then eyes!
    Also I think there are some stages missing between #9 and #10!

  2. Yes, I guess this sounds about right, but it makes it seem so clinical to me.

  3. An interesting list.

    I think the eye to body and the eye to eye could go either way in order.

    I know when I met my hubby, the first thing I noticed about his were his eyes. However, my favorite place to line dance was behind him because he looked so damn good in his Wranglers! :)

  4. With me, unless the eyes are amazing, I don't notice them first. I lip read a lot, so I notice people's mouths.

  5. I'm a sucker for dark twinkling eyes, Jen!

    Debra - naughty girl, concentrating on his butt ;-)

  6. My husband and I were reminiscing about the day we met in college last weekend. He noticed my breasts.
    I noticed his hips. (We was facing me, so I couldn't get a butt shot, but I've admired his posterior many times since then.

  7. I just tried having that conversation with my husband. Yeah, I won't be printing it.