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Ana peeks under and through intimacy from a writer's perspective.
My Webster's Dictionary defines intimacy as "The state of being intimate."
Intimate is defined as "marked by close acquaintance;" "relating to one's deepest nature;" "very personal;" "sexual."
Romance writers strive for intimacy in their novels because romance readers crave a close, personal, vivid experience when reading. We write deep POV to show our characters' natures and reveal their innermost, secret desires and fears.
We also write with a narrative intimacy to convey a wide range of emotions. We strive to show our heroine's moods, the hero's reaction to a turn of events.
To be able to wring pathos from our heroine's certainty that she'll never be united with the hero, we have to know our heroine intimately--and then write in her POV the scenes where she accepts love's gifts and defeats. Likewise, we get to know our hero (as intimately as one can know the opposite sex), get in his head and stay there in scenes where his prowess / honor is challenged and his passions are enflamed.
It's the emotional connection we're after. The intimate. And nothing is more intimate than love scenes. The duet that builds up to the climax (literally) and then lets the reader savor the afterglow. An author has to already be on an intimate level with his/her characters to write a satisfying sex scene.
Erotic romances usually stage the first sexual encounter early in the story, before deep character development. But the intent of an erotic romance is panty-wetting. Love can blossom after the "best sex" the hero has ever had. The dive into the intimate recesses of emotion might be revealed until after the mind blowing f**k, but it will have to be portrayed on the page, or IMO, the story will not deliver satisfaction to most readers.
Sexual intimacy has to be justified by emotional intimacy. By the characters' recognition that their lover is the only one who can make them feel complete, who fills the emptiness that has been stalking them, who heals undeserved or long festering emotional wounds, and who loves them with conditions that free them to love themselves.
Interesting post, Ana. I agree about the emotional connection being a necessity in a romance story. I must admit I don't much like stories where the hero and heroine 'go to bed' before even getting to know each other! That is just 'sex', and not 'making love' - the latter only happens when the couple have actually fallen in love, and formed an emotional link, rather than just a physical one.
ReplyDeleteI agree, but I read it often in books that get lots of downloads and high ratings.
ReplyDeleteYes, sex sells, it always did, but I prefer romance. An exchanged and loaded glance over the flickering candle on a restaurant table can be far more erotic than any contortions in bed LOL! I also prefer the tension leading up to making love than any wham-bam sex after a first meeting.
DeleteInteresting, Ana. And I also think, based on your definitions, that the author can use sex to define the intimacy--if it's occurring before the characters really know each other, then perhaps it's helping them to develop intimacy? And if it's occurring afterwards, then it's the reward?
ReplyDeleteBefore getting to know each other, it's sex. Afterwards it's the natural progression (not the reward) of love. I know which I prefer!
DeleteIn my current work hero and heroine are forced to share a bed together and intimacy is about to take place without love. Though there is a strong element of desire which has previously been suppressed. And I'm guessing they'll get together by the end of the book. But I do agree that sex should not be introduced for the sake of it.
ReplyDeleteThat should make for a very interesting story, Margaret!
DeleteI do write spicy romance, but most times I would still refer to the intimacy as making love and it generally happens after an emotional connection has been forged. Only once did my characters have sex early on in the story, and it became part of the inner conflict and tension between the hero and heroine as they became emotionally intimate afterwards.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great comparison, Debra: sexual intimacy vs emotional intimacy.
ReplyDelete