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I was out and about all day yesterday enjoying my last bits of summer vacation and didn't have time to come up with an enlightening post, so I'm taking the easy way out today and posting the first twenty lines of my WIP. It's titled "One Great Night".
“I want you to be my sex tutor.”
Jason choked on his beer. “What?”
Chloe Harris waited until he met her gaze again. “So, will you do it?” The background noise from the crowded bar filled the charged silence as she held her breath, waiting for his answer. Country music blared from the speakers set around the dance floor. Glasses and bottles clinked. Conversations overlapped, individual words indistinguishable in the cacophony.
“Do what?” he asked again as if he hadn’t heard right the first time.
She sighed. “Be my sex tutor.”
He looked at her like she’d grown two heads. His eyes narrowed. “Why do you need a sex tutor?”
“To make sure I’m going it right.”
This time Jason’s beer spilled down the front of his shirt. He dabbed at the spot with a napkin. “Dammit, this was a new shirt.” He closed his eyes for a moment. When they opened, his expression was pained. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this. Hell, I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. But what makes you think you’re doing it wrong?”
Until next time,
Happy Reading!
Debra
www.debrastjohnromance.com
That is an awesome opening! I already want to read more.
ReplyDeleteThat's always good to hear..thanks, Jen!
ReplyDeleteAgree with Jen - this is awesome! Love the opening line, and the way you've shown the 'location' in one short paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Paula...as I read through, I did give myself a little pat on the back for revealing some of the setting in just the opening paragraphs! :)
ReplyDeleteJust one suggestion, Debra. Start a new paragraph after 'will you do it?'
ReplyDeleteAlso should 'going it right' be 'doing it right'?
I love her doubts!!
Super opener, Jen!
ReplyDeleteI'd spill my beer if a guy came onto me like that.
Of course, my husband popped off with this line today,"
"When your butt is sore from picking veggies, how about I massage your front?"
Grr. I hate it when he does that.
Paula, thanks for the suggestions. And, yep, I caught the typo on going instead of doing. I fixed it!
ReplyDeleteAna...that is a great line! Did you let him?!??!