We’ve all read the ‘romance’ novels where the domineering alpha man forces himself on to the weak/innocent/naïve heroine and practically rapes her, but she still falls in love with him? What???
The extreme Alpha man is sometimes portrayed in romance novels as Mr. Machismo, an abrasive, ruthless, overbearing jerk. Maybe it’s what some women fantasize about, but it leaves me cold. An ‘Alpha-plus’ man like this is more likely to be the villain in my story, not the hero.
The extreme Beta man, on the other hand, can come over as a boring ‘Mr Nice Guy’. Carried to its extreme, i.e. the ‘Beta-minus’ level, he is an unremarkable, passive, non-confrontational wimp.
Reading this week’s blogs and comments has confirmed my view that most women prefer the hybrid – what I like to call the Alpha-minus, Beta-plus man, who combines the best qualities of both and loses the worst.
So Alpha-plus loses his macho arrogance and egomaniacal behaviour to become Alpha-minus. He retains his strength, charisma and a self-confidence which is respected, not intimidating. He seeks a mate who is his equal, not one he can dominate.
At the same time, the Beta-minus loses his reticence and passiveness and climbs up the scale to Beta-plus. But he retains his sensitivity, his loyalty, his compassion.
So we get the best of both worlds - strength combined with sensitivity. Now that’s my kind of hero!